My little boys birthday

I have hesitated to blog recently about all the good things that have been happening lately. God had answered some prayers and we are so humbled to the point of not even having words to describe how we are feeling.
Today was one of my former foster childs birthday. He was 5 years old today. I had him one month shy of 3 years and he was given to his paternal grandmother along with his sister in what I as well as many others at social service thought was a very unfair and cruel thing to do. The grandmother doesnt like me so since they have been gone my contact with them has been very limited. It hurt me a lot. More than I could ever sit here and tell you. The day those 2 children left my family it felt as if my own child had been ripped from my arms. I mourned that loss. And to make matters worse...these 2 children were part of a sibling group of 4 and she chose to only take 2 of them. Today was his 5th birthday and I was given the opportunity to share some time with him on this day. I went out and bought his gifts, got cupcakes, pizza and drinks and went to chuck e cheese and waited for social service to show up with them. The 2 little ones came in the door and raced into my arms and the first words that popped from their mouths was i love you mommy. My heart just melted. We spent the next hour or so playing the games and opening the gifts and just had a wonderful (but short) time. I took so many pictures with my digital camera my battery went down after a while. All too quickly it was time to leave. I stood back and let them say their good byes to their brothers and watched while I choked back the tears. I didnt let them see me cry....its not what I am trained to do. But it was a hard hard thing to watch them walk away again. Like 2 little soldiers. I can only leave them in Gods hands now. I pray for them. I wonder what they are doing each day. I am back home now and I am surprised at how exhausted I am......I feel emotionally drained. I downloaded my camera and watched that hour I had with them all over again while I was alone....then I cried. Those children didnt mind that I was a different color than they were.....to them I was their mom. I always will be. There is nothing social services can do to change that. I pray that God keeps them safe and happy. I miss them with all my heart.
Happy Birthday Mommys Baby! I love you more and more and more.