Doesnt it make you feel good when you teach your children something and you later see them put it into practice? Its like all that preaching and repeating and you sometimes feel like your talking to a brick wall then all of a sudden when you least expect it they pop up and say something that makes you feel like wow they really do listen. I dont mind that my boys sometimes dont pay attention to what I am saying on occassion because that is normal behavior for 9 and 10 year old boys...especially with all these boys have been going though lately. But its a good feeling to know they do listen when it counts most. I have tried very hard to instill a sense of manners and respect for others in the children that are placed in my home. Some children pick up on it a lot faster than others and I believe that boys just tend to be a little harded to get through to than girls...that is a personal opinion however. Yesterday I went to the store and bought some flowers to take to the cemetary for my father. I took the children with me. They of course never got the pleasure of knowing my dad....my dad has been gone for a long time now. I never visit my fathers grave that I dont shed a few tears and I miss him as much today as I did when he first passed. As I knelt at my fathers grave and removed his old flowers and flag to place the news one in I noticed his flag was very worn so I didnt put it back in with the new flowers. While I was there I noticed my boys and my little girl became very quiet. They watched me. They became very somber as I placed those flowers in that vase and I began to realize what they were doing. They were behaving in a reverent way to show respect to my moment with my dad. They never uttered a word...they stood just as quietly as a church mouse. I was impressed. If my dad was looking down on us I am sure he would have been impressed too. I thought it was a nice thing that the children saw how important this moment was to me and they gave reverence to that moment. I picked up the old flowers and flag and placed them in the back of my van and we got back in to make the drive home. On the way home they were very quiet for about the first five minute then they began to ask me about my father and what kind of person he was and what was the purpose of the flag in his vase. I explained to them that my father was a disabled American Vet and he was very proud of his service in the Military and he always taught me to honor and respect the flag that so many people had died for. We arrived back home and the children started off to play. One of my boys came to the door about an hour later and he said to "by the way mom I tossed out those old flowers you left in the back of the van but i left the old flag in there." I asked him why he left the flag and only tossed out the flowers. He replied that he just didnt think it would be right to throw a flag in the trash can...he said he didnt think my dad would like that. I was speechless for a few seconds and said back to him I think your right...I dont think my dad would want it in the trash can either. So we kept the little tattered flag in the garage until such a time I can find a way to dispose of it in a more dignified manner. But isnt it nice? Children do listen. They really are like sponges...constantly soaking up all that is around them. These boys have been in my care for 3 years now. I have tried to make sure they were surrounded by positive influences and have done to the best of my ability to be a good parent to them. I love them. No matter where they may wind up living I know that part of me will go with them...and part of them will stay here with me. We have talked about what next week may bring as far as their living here with us. Social Services will make a decision next week I am sure. They have made a lot of negative threats about what they plan to do if they are forced to move from here. I have encouraged them to be cooperative, be respectful, and to continue to grow into the young men that God would have them to be. I believe that when they do leave my home...they will take with them all the little things that I have taught them....because even when I thought they werent listening...they were.
I dont care what anyone says....Fox News Rocks! I like the candid way they present the news, many times without fear of reprecussions. This week one of the top news stories was about Miss California. I am sure many people have read it already. Shes a beautiful girl. During the interview on stage she was asked her opinion on same sex marriage. Miss California stood on that stage and told the truth....that marriage was for a man and a woman...and thats how it should be. God bless Miss California. As far as I am concerned she is Miss USA, Miss World, or Miss Whatever. When she went out on that stage and chose to make the statement of her moral beliefs in spite of what the so called politically correct people wanted to hear her say she proved that she was not only a beautiful person outside but shes beautiful on the inside as well. She is an outstanding role model and a wonderful example for young girls to have. Isnt that what the Miss USA pageant is all about anyway? I am sure Miss California knew when she made that statement that she stepped in a hornets nest. I agree with her. No way should homosexual people be allowed to be married. Not only is it morally wrong, ethically wrong, its just plain ridiculous. Someone said that by not allowing homosexual couples to be married poses a threat to the family unit. That has be about the dumbest thing I have ever heard of! I believe homosexuality in itself is a threat to the breakdown of families. Miss California deserves our support. She has a backbone and she was not willing to compromise herself for money or fame. I believe homosexuality is a sin against God."Thou shalt not lie with mankind as with woman kind; it is an abomination". The expression, "to lie with", is used in scripture to describe illicit sexual unions. (See I Sam. 2:22; Gen 19:33-35). So is the term "to go into" (Gen.38:9; Gen. 16:4). Thus, to "lie with mankind as with womankind", is for two males to commit sex acts, one being "used" as one would use a woman. One man lying sexually with another man as one would with a woman, this the apostle Paul calls "unnatural" in Rom. 1:26-27.
I hope that if the time ever comes that I am asked a question about my moral beliefs that I have the backbone that Miss California showed in the recent pageant. It may have cost her a title here on earth but the long range rewards cant be measured. Cheer up Miss California...she may be wearing a crown here on earth but your laying up a crown in heaven that far exceeds anything the mind can behold!
I have had such a poor experience with a racist Social worker I have really been thinking that I would no longer open my home to children in need. It has been a very bad experience that has left a bitter taste in my mouth that I will not soon forget. Its funny how when we get ourselves into a mindset of how we are going to handle things ourselves that God just sort of sits there and listens to us rant and rave and then once we think we have it all figured out, and know just how were going to handle something he steps in and says ok now heres what were going to do about it. I have often cracked jokes at people who said "God spoke to me" because I honestly dont fathom how that could really happen....until now that is. This weekend I was out shopping and I ran into a man that used to be a customer in the store I worked at. We barely knew one another...just a casual hello. But I knew enough from our casual exchanges in the store to know that he was God fearing born again Christian. While we were talking this weekend he said to me that he and his daughter drive past my home several mornings a week and see me getting the kids off to school or playing with them outside. He stated to me that he loves riding by my house because (in his words) he could feel the love for the children just by driving by.....then he looked me squarely in my face and said to me "what your doing is a good thing so dont stop it...just keep it up." The moment he said that to me is was like a small voice inside of me said "keep taking care of the children and I will take care of whatever gets in your way." The verse in Psalms 105:15 popped in my head..."Touch not my annointed one". Now please understand that I am not saying I am an annointed prophet or anything but I do believe that God put it in my heart to be a foster parent....its the ministry that I feel called to do. I believe God set that man in my path this weekend to send me a message. A message I was happy to receive....to keep on keeping on! God will deal with the person who has treated me wrongly. He has a work that he wants completed. When its completed he alone will be the one to decide. I can see now that Satan set that woman in my path to see how I would deal with her. She hurt me. But I cant allow it to stop me from doing what I know God has called me to do. I will let that hurt go now...and let God deal with it. And the next time someone says to me that God spoke to them...maybe I will just smile and remember a time when he spoke to me too.
Because I am not African American I have always assumed that racism would be something that would never touch any aspect of my life. I was very wrong. I do not consider myself a racist person by any means of the word, nor can I say I have been denied goods or services due to the color of my skin. Anyone who knows me on a personal level would say that I am by no means a racist person. I honestly believe that I judge each person based on their own merit. I have welcomed foster children of all races into my home, as well as my husband and I have fellowshipped across racial lines forever. I have worked diligently to teach the children that come into my home that we are all God's children and we all bleed the same color. Now here is where I plan to drop the bomb shell. Why is it that the majority of African Americans I have been in contact with automatically assume that because my skin is white that I am going to be a bigot? Isnt that a form of discrimination in itself? I have recently had the pleasure of fostering 2 young boys in my home that have been with me for 3 years. We love them dearly. I dont believe I could love those children anymore had I given birth to them. When these boys first arrived in my home I will never forget that night. They both had on the poorest looking clothes I have ever seen on a child, and an insanely expensive pair of shoes on their feet. Mind you understand these shoes appeared to be brand new. The first words the older child uttered to me was "white people kill black people". I made sure he quickly understood that I had no plans to murder anyone that night and set about making him feel as comfortable as possible in my home. Over the last 3 years these boys and I have formed a bond. I worked very hard to teach them that we do not judge people by the color of their skin, or the type of shoe on their foot. That is where my next problem comes in. Fast forward to today. We now have a new social worker on the boys case. My husband and I had hoped to be able to adopt the boys. From the very beginning when this social worker started visiting my home I immediately picked up on the fact that she did not care for the idea of these boys being in our home. Now dont get me wrong again, my boys have nice shoes for school and church but just for walking around they get a pair of cheap play shoes. This young African American social worker immediately came into contact with the boys asking about their shoes. And it wasnt that she was unkind about it...it was more that you could tell from her tone....it was like "ugh where did you get those horrible shoes". She always made them feel different. Besides shoes...this social worker informed me that the boys needed to visit the barber shop once a week. I thought that sounded a bit ridiculous however I was willing to go along with it. I mentioned it to the barber and he (african American) said she didnt know what she was talking about. It began to become a series of events with this one social worker. If I put Vicks Vaporrub on a child...she said they had a bad odor. I knew what she had in store for these boys and I began to silently prepare myself for it. We actually had a visit with a supervisor and she lied during the meeting. Finally I got the call I had been expecting all along. She was moving the boys to a black foster home. The older boy said when they took him off to tell him about it he was told he needed to develop "black pride". I have to be honest in saying I never tried to teach him black pride...I tried to teach him self pride. I wanted him to be proud of his good grades in school, his athletic achievements, his musical accomplishments, I wanted him to be proud of himself for his own merit. I believe with all that is in me that this "social worker" had issues with the fact that these boys love me and they call me mom. I believe that is why she looked for imaginary issues. I believe she doesnt feel that a white woman should be raising black children. I never made them feel different in my home....but she did. Now I have two very sad boys who have lost their family due to the tragedy that has landed them in foster care and now they are going to lose another family because of racism. Is this reverse discrimination? I think this poor excuse for a social worker is simply drawing a paycheck and could care less about the best interest of these children. But I would feel that way because I am angry. I am angry that I have been judged and found to be less than because of the color of my skin. What I have worked three years to teach in my home was torn down by one social worker who has issues with ethnic differences. Yes, racism has touched my life. It has touched my life in a way I will never forget. What concerns me is how it will make me feel 10 years from now. In the mean time I have two very distressed boys that are sitting here waiting for the next black foster home to become available so they can move again. Yet the so call authorities who claim to know whats best for the children sit and wonder why all the children in the system have trouble developing relationships and forming healthy attachments. I bet I can guess why.
Mary's Blog
You will notice that many times I refer to the children that live in my home by just an initial. I also blur out the faces of all the children that live in my home in any pictures you may see on this blog. It isnt that I am not proud of them...I do this in order to maintain the confidentiality of the children and their families.
