Summer is Passing

Summer is moving fast. It seems like once you celebrate the 4th of July is moves pretty quickly after that. It has also had a lot to do with having some kids in summer school. The family has been pretty busy overall. The kids have been swimming everyday and they have had a blast. I can see them growing a lot this summer. The girls have all moved up a size and so have the boys. None of my boys can shop in the boys department yet. We discovered this when we decided to start school shopping a little. Time moves fast. I hope I am not missing anything. I dont want to wake up one day and they are all grown up and have any regrets. I know the house has to stay neat and clean but I hope when they ask me to stop and have some fun with them I do it. Nikemeon will be 13 soon. I can already see the teenage ways showing up in his attitudes. He wants to look and act like the other kids he sees and I know that is normal. But I hope he learns its ok to be in individual. I try to make some special time just to listen to him and his brother Jermel because I want them to know that what they are thinking about is important to me. I believe its important to know whats close to their heart.
So with just about a month and a half left of summer vacation we are on the prowl for something to do. Any suggestions?

TTFN

Im Back again

So after a long hiatus from the computer I am back again. The computer was out of order for a while and I simply didnt bother to repair it. I miss my blog time but I had tons of things to keep me busy. We are a large busy family with lots of activities and I have made the decision that I am not going to do any babysitting this summer so I could just have fun with my own kids. Usually every year we have a few extras along but this summer was sort of special to us because for the first time in ages we dont have anyone in our house in therapy! We have spent the last few years going to therapy for one or more children for so long that it almost seemed odd not to be going. I have always thought that therapy was sort of dumb in some ways because I simply didnt see the benefit in telling a stranger all the secrets in your head. But I can see its been beneficial to the kids. Many of my children have had some hard bumps in the road before they became a part of the Brewer family and I can see its made some difference in their lives so its been ok. The real work was done by God....but I will let the therapists have a little credit....haha. Anyway we are planning to have a lot of fun this summer and stay busy with our own kids. We put a pool in and all of a sudden none of the children see the need for a bath anymore...yuck!! We are looking forward to the July forth holiday and just having as much fun as we can. It will be a summer of staying in touch with their hearts...they grow up so fast. I will have two in middle school this time because my youngest son did so well this time he is skipping the fifth grade ( like I said look what God can do! ) I want to enjoy them while they are small....they grow up so fast. So for the next few weeks when we do some things I will try and get some photos up here for everyone to see.
Ta ta for now.

Me

Its me again

Its been a while since I sat down in the quiet of the house to compose thoughts about the things happening in my life. So much has happened to keep me from sitting at the computer so much. My family has grown by leaps and bounds and I am so thankful. We are in the process of adopting three beautiful little girls and words couldnt describe how blessed we feel. I think often of the children who have come through my home and went on to other places and I pray they are safe and warm. I believe God's hand is on each and every one of them.
I also lost my Grandmother recently. She was 100 years old and although at that age its obvious they will leave soon its never easy to see them go. My grandmother was such a blessing to me and to everyone whos life she touched. The example she left behind for me is something I want to strive for every day. My grandmother was a lady in every aspect of the word. She was the model of a good Christian woman, she was wonderful mother, grandmother and great grandmother. She touched the lives of a lot of people. She was like a little piece of history sitting right here among us. My grandmother was a modest woman who loved God first and foremost before anything in her life. When she died she had such a peaceful look on her face. I was named after her and for many years she and I had such a close bond with one another. I will miss her so much. She was there for every event in my life....good bad or indifferent. God needed her and she was ready to go. Its funny how when you have such an assurance that you know someone is in heaven it really eases the hurt of letting them go. Grandma worked her whole life to get to heaven....now her work is over. I will miss her deeply.

I Miss You Jeremiah

Dear Jeremiah,
Almost 2 years ago you came to my door in the back seat of a car driven by CPS. I was so excited to have you come and stay with us that I couldnt wait to meet you. You were just 15 months old. It didnt take us long to fall in love with you. All of us. That seemed like such a long time ago. Throughout all that time I kept telling myself not to grow too attached to you because you would be leaving us. I was just so sure that a baby as precious as you would be gone very quickly. I spoke the words outloud many times reminding myself not to be too crazy about this little boy. But as the days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months and the months became a year I somehow got so lost in you I didnt realize it. I forgot at times that you were not my own biological child. You meant so much to us and I loved every minute you were here. I think I lulled myself into believing that you wouldnt go. Then the call came ..... your biological grandmother had won custody of you. I will never forget that day. There was a terrible lump that came in my throat and I worked so hard to choke back the tears. I told the rest of the children and family that you would be leaving. I tried to keep a stiff upper lip. I silently began to pack your things when I was told she was on the way. I imagined what she would be like. I worried that she wouldnt know how special you were the way we did. I knew we had to do what was best for you and not what was best for us but I didnt know her...and now I was handing you over to her. I was worried she wouldnt rock you at night the way I had. I was afraid she wouldnt sing your favorite songs. The day she arrived and took you off for a visit I was panic stricken. It was hard. I knew once I met her that she would be good to you. She did her best to reassure me. She had been fighting to get you for a very long time so I knew she must care deeply for you. She allowed me my time to say goodbye. Saying goodby to you was the hardest thing I ever had to do. You have been gone for 2 days now and everything I see and smell still reminds me of your precious little face. I know what grief feels like. I know this will pass in time. I cant help but feel a little angry that they let you sit in the system so long that we fell in love with you. The system needs to move faster for foster children. I am thankful that you have someone who loves you and that you have your family. But my heart is heavy. I miss you and I love you so very very much. The day you left made a hole that cant be filled. I pray that God keeps his hand on you, protects you and keeps you in the palm of his hand. I would give anything to be able to hold you just one more time and sing Lullybye, or to share your favorite icecream with you or swing in the park. Just one more day. I miss you Jeremiah and I love you more that you will ever know. You will grow up and forget me because you were small when you left my home. But you left a huge footprint on my heart that will last forever. I learned so much from you. I will hold you in my heart now and try to move forward keeping the picture in my mind of you being happy and carefree. I love you sweetboy.

Always and forever,
Mommy

Sunday Morning

The house is very quiet right now because I cant seem to stop waking up in time to get the kids ready for school in spite of the fact that school has been out a month now. Soon they will all be up and getting ready for church. Today will be our new little girls first sunday in church with us and they are excited about going. Today is 4th of July so we will come home and have a little picnic and let the kids have some fun on the slip and slide. I am thankful to live in the USA. Our country may have its problems but when you compare us to some of the other countries you read about in the paper and see on the news I think I would feel a little ashamed to complain. At least in my country as a female, wife and mother I am not considered to be a piece of property. Lord knows we have a long ways to go in America but we have certainly been blessed beyond reason.
We will soon be blessed with the finalization of another adoption. J and N have been with us for a long time. The birth mother of these 2 boys loves them very much and I know she does. The problem was that she just didnt feel compelled to do anything that was required of her by DSS to remedy the situation that brought them into care. The court did not want to return them to her care. It is sad to see a family torn apart but the really sad part about this one is she sees no fault of her own in the entire ordeal. The boys grew angry with her over a period of time. She feels like I put that anger in them. I dont even respond to her when she attempts to engage me in a shouting match...I dont feel like that kind of foolishness is worth my time however I never stopped reminding these boys that no matter how they thought they were feeling that she is still the woman who gave them life and she deserves their respect for that. I have received a few vulgar toungue lashings from this woman but its all good. I pray for her. I personally dont believe that she will ever be able to mend any fences with these boys until she accepts the responsibility for her own actions. In the meantime I will continue to watch these boys grow and flourish. God has his hands on both of them I know they are destined for greatness. I dont believe these boys should write her off forever because I think someday they are going to have some questions that only she will be able to answer for them. I think its a hole that all foster children have if that makes any sense.
So we are a family of 6 children now. Each of them a blessing in their own way. God really does work miracles. I see it often.

Blogging Time

Its been a while since I had the time to sit down and blog about anything. Things have been a whirlwind of activity in the Brewer house .... some good and some bad. The children finished school and everyone was passed to the next grade. Morgan seems to be doing well and I am no longer worried that she isnt catching on like I thought she should. She is a very smart girl and so full of life....I cant imagine my life before her. She really is a gift from God.
Rae left us and moved to the family that has his sisters. We missed him very much but we were glad he has a chance to be with some of his family. Family comes few and far between for these children. He will always have a place in my home and heart. He left a different child than he was when he first came and I am happy to have been able to watch God work as he made a change in that little boy.
We welcomed two new members to our house. One is age one and the other is age five. They are beautiful little girls and oh so tiny. Morgan has been thrilled beyond words to have a little girl in the house to play with. And so that is how it goes...the family grows again. It is always so sweet to see how my kids go the extra mile to welcome a new child into this house. I know why they do it...its because they know what its like to be that new kid in foster care and how it feels to be lonely and confused. They recall those feelings. I am glad they show compassion for other children. God is at work in the children in this house. Its amazing to watch. I am honored to have a front row seat!

May is Foster Care Month

For Immediate Release April 28, 2010 Presidential Proclamation-National Foster Care Month
A PROCLAMATION

Nearly a half-million children and youth are in foster care in America, all entering the system through no fault of
their own. During National Foster Care Month, we recognize the promise of children and youth in foster care, as well as former foster youth. We also celebrate the professionals and foster parents who demonstrate the depth and kindness of the human heart.

Children and youth in foster care deserve the happiness and joy every child should experience through family life and a safe, loving home. Families provide children with unconditional love, stability, trust, and the support to grow into healthy, productive adults. Unfortunately, too many foster youth reach the age at which they must leave foster care and enter adulthood without the support of a permanent family.

Much work remains to reach the goal of permanence for every child, and my Administration has supported States that increased the number of children adopted out of foster care, providing over $35 million in 2009 through the Adoption Incentives program. We are also committed to meeting the developmental, educational, and health-related needs of children and youth in foster care. The American Recovery and Reinvestment Act provided a significant increase in funding for the Title IV-E adoption and foster care assistance program. States can use
these funds to ensure those placed in foster care will enter a safe and stable environment.

In addition, we are implementing the Fostering Connections to Success and Increasing Adoptions Act. This law promotes permanency and improved outcomes for foster youth through support for kinship care and adoption, support for older youth, direct access to Federal resources for Indian tribes, coordinated health benefits, improved educational stability and opportunities, and adoption incentives and assistance. Former foster youth will also benefit from the Affordable Care Act, which, beginning in 2014, will ensure Medicaid coverage for them in every State.

This month, caring foster parents and professionals across our Nation will celebrate the triumphs of children and
youth in foster care as they work to remove barriers to reaching a permanent family. Federal, State, and local government agencies, communities, and individuals all have a role to play as well. Together, we can ensure that young people in foster care have the opportunities and encouragement they need to realize their full potential.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim May 2010 as National Foster Care Month. I call upon all Americans to observe this month with appropriate programs and activities to honor and support young people in foster care, and to recognize the committed adults who work on their behalf each day.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this twenty-eighth day of April, in the year of our Lord two thousand ten, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirty-fourth.

BARACK OBAMA