Court Days

For the past week I have spent a lot of time in a court room. As a rare event every child in my home had a court day within the last week. I am not especially fond of court days but I do go simply because I like knowing whats going on with my kids. Today I learned to hate going to court. I sat through 2 termination of parental rights hearings this week for 2 different children. The first child, I knew her parents would be terminated and justice was served. The second family was a little bit more difficult to take. Moms rights were teminated but she never did anything to injure the children...she did however make some bad choices. Her children sat in foster care for a very long time. Its odd to me how you can go to 2 different court hearings and come away with such a mixed bag of feelings. When it comes to abusing a child and your rights get terminated I simply dont feel sorry....it was almost a a happy feeling. Dont get me wrong I do feel some sadness for the loss of her family but I am happy to know that she will never be hurt by their hand again. But this second trial...I dont think I will ever forget it. And the reason it stands out in my mind so much is because this mother was raised in foster care herself. I have seen some of the foster homes the older children are placed in. Its not a good situation. Some people say that mothering is a natural instinct...but I dont think it is. I think mothering is something learned. You tend to mother the way you were mothered. This mother was terminated....and granted she had a long time to get her things in order to receive her children but I just wonder....I wonder what the foster mom who had her did to teach her to mother her children. I watch my little foster daughter playing with her dollbabys....sometimes she will spank them for their imaginary misdeeds...I gently remind her that there is no good reason to hit anyone....she doesnt hit her dolls the way she used to. I hope and pray that I am teaching her good mothering skills that she can someday pass along to her children.
Court is not fun. Someone goes away hurt. Today a former foster child lost her rights to her children because she didnt make good choices as a mother. She will always be in my prayers.

Busy Days

Things have been a whirlwind of activity around our house lately. The kids are starting to get tired of the summer and I think they are really ready to head back to school. N will be going off to Middle School this year and he has already begun football practice for the fall season. Our little girls court date came up and I attended my first termination of parental rights hearing. And as much as I am looking forward to having her as my own legally it was really a bittersweet moment. Terminating her parents felt like a funeral to me. It was in some ways...the funeral of her first family. She will never have to go back to that and that is a good thing.....but anyway...good days ahead! She is my daughter and has been from the moment she came into my home.
Our new little boy turned 9 in a matter of days after being placed with us. He is nothing like what we anticipated him to be but rather a welcome addition to our home. R has some issue to work out but with prayer and a lot of love and attention I think he will be ok. He is a little boy that has been through way more than he should have and sometimes things will pop out of his mouth that will totally surprise you. He is a work in progress.
Monday is another big court day....I am feeling a little overwhelmed.

Independence Weekend

Our whole family has been looking forward to July 4th this year for the last few weeks. For me it is the signaling that its almost time to start school shopping because September will creep up quickly and once the kids are back in school its Christmas before ya know it....hows that for jumping the gun?
Anyway back to the 4th of July. We got up bright and early and went down to South Norfolk to see the annual parade. The kids had been looking forward to that as its become somewhat of a family tradition and when it comes to kids I am big about traditions. I want them to be able to look back some day and say "my mom and dad took us every year" or "we did this or that every holiday" so for that reason I tend to go overboard with the holiday events. I sat up late the night of the 3rd making cakes and other things to prepare for our cook out...got all the shopping done and planned a delicious menu for our ANNUAL family cook out.
In the midst of all our holiday cooking we received a phone call from Child Protective Services asking if we were able to take an emergency placement. I didnt ask too much about him but simply agreed to take him and silently wondered what kind of people would put a child out of their home on a holiday. The CPS worker offered a little information on the phone stating that he was an 8 year old boy with a lot of anger issues who acted out in the home he was in and was being asked to leave. I immediately got a picture in my mind of what this child was going to look like. I envisioned a huge, brute of a child with anger in his eyes that could possibly take my house apart and ruin our holiday tradition. What a surprise I got....He walked though the door and was just a tiny boy. I went over my family rules with him ...he agreed to abide by them and I put him right in the room with the other boys. So far he has been nothing less than polite and obedient. Not knowing how long he could be here...I am sure time will tell what he is capable of once we get to know one another. I was proud of my other boys working hard to make him feel at home.....when they go out of their way to make others feel at home here then I know they feel at home themselves and that makes me feel good.
So now we are a family of 5 children. They are all tucked away upstairs sleeping in their little beds and hopefully dreaming good dreams. Its funny how one little call can change the whole course of your day.