Court Days

For the past week I have spent a lot of time in a court room. As a rare event every child in my home had a court day within the last week. I am not especially fond of court days but I do go simply because I like knowing whats going on with my kids. Today I learned to hate going to court. I sat through 2 termination of parental rights hearings this week for 2 different children. The first child, I knew her parents would be terminated and justice was served. The second family was a little bit more difficult to take. Moms rights were teminated but she never did anything to injure the children...she did however make some bad choices. Her children sat in foster care for a very long time. Its odd to me how you can go to 2 different court hearings and come away with such a mixed bag of feelings. When it comes to abusing a child and your rights get terminated I simply dont feel sorry....it was almost a a happy feeling. Dont get me wrong I do feel some sadness for the loss of her family but I am happy to know that she will never be hurt by their hand again. But this second trial...I dont think I will ever forget it. And the reason it stands out in my mind so much is because this mother was raised in foster care herself. I have seen some of the foster homes the older children are placed in. Its not a good situation. Some people say that mothering is a natural instinct...but I dont think it is. I think mothering is something learned. You tend to mother the way you were mothered. This mother was terminated....and granted she had a long time to get her things in order to receive her children but I just wonder....I wonder what the foster mom who had her did to teach her to mother her children. I watch my little foster daughter playing with her dollbabys....sometimes she will spank them for their imaginary misdeeds...I gently remind her that there is no good reason to hit anyone....she doesnt hit her dolls the way she used to. I hope and pray that I am teaching her good mothering skills that she can someday pass along to her children.
Court is not fun. Someone goes away hurt. Today a former foster child lost her rights to her children because she didnt make good choices as a mother. She will always be in my prayers.