Report Cards, Therapy and Other Fun Stuff

Friday is always a very special day around here. Its a very busy day. Its therapy day. More than half of the children go to therapy every week. It can sometimes be very inconvenient but its a necessity. I used to not think it was such a big deal. But long range therapy for other children in my home have brought about such positive results that I rank it as important now. I was always of the belief that if you just take a child in and love him and provide for him then it will take care of all the other little issues that may pop up from time to time. In other words....Love covers a multitude of sins....and I still believe that however when it comes to parenting a child thats already seen a lot of hurt and disappointment before they ever came to you...therapy is wonderful thing to have. Today we made the journey over to Norfolk to go to therapy then each child had to be dropped back off at school because we didnt want to miss today.....its moms favorite school day....its REPORT CARD DAY!!!
Report cards were supposed to be out last friday but due to the storm that overtook us last weekend they were delayed by one week. I am not concerned about their grades...I know they are all doing well. Some a little better than others but all of them are good. I like to make a big deal out of this day because I like for the children to see that education is important to us...its worth celebrating. I have a child in my home that is so excited about getting to school each day now that hes angry when he has to miss for therapy. He wants to be there every minute he can. That speaks volumes for the teacher who is at the head of his class.
We are also in what I jokingly call the third trimester of a adoption. We are hoping it will all be settled and completed before Christmas and we have every reason to believe it will be. It will make our Christmas complete knowing that this child is ours.....forever.
So thats the latest updates from the Brewer house....for now.

Answer to Prayer

I owe God a huge apology. I mean I already told him how sorry I was...but I really owe him a big apology. I was really disturbed when I prayed for God to heal me and I felt like he didnt answer me. I got so bold that I went as far as to say God doesnt answer prayers. That was a bold statement right there...not to mention a stupid one. I said I wanted to see God very specifically answer a prayer.....I mean like you pray for something and boom it happened. So heres what happened.....
After I didnt get what I thought I wanted before I made it a point that I would not ask God for anything specifically ever again. But then the pressure came. I had a social worker who was not a very nice person. She was not only racist but she was just plain out right dishonest. It was a very hard pill for me to swallow because she was unkind to my boys...and me. Everytime she was impolite to me....everytime she made a false accusation regarding my boys.....I was nice to her. I was simply and totally nice to her. I didnt engage her in conversations when I didnt have to but I was very polite. And it was hard. I am like Peter in the Bible....I wanted to cut her ear off. It was a very humbling experience for me. But all the while I was being nice to her I was praying and asking God to move her out. To find her another job or whatever he needed to do in order to get her out. And he very specifically did just that. The morning she called to tell us she would no longer be our caseworker I was so happy I cried. She thought I was crying from sadness but it wasnt. God moved her out. I prayed for that to happen and he very specifically did that. I know he doesnt sit up in heaven waiting to take orders from us...he knows what he need and dont need better than we do. But I cant help but be so thankful. God did that for us....he did it so perfectly and completly that he even replaced our former caseworker with a Christian.....a real Christian. I am so thankful.
Foster children go through a variety of caseworkers, therapists, doctors and all kinds of people asking questions and moitoring their progress throughout their journey through the system. If you have a child in your care for any period of time its not uncommon to have a whole team of professionals involved in your childs case. Some of them you get to know rather well after a period of time. And occassionally we run into one that is a born again Christian. When we do I tend to relax a little because I know my kids are in good hands.

Foster Parent Training

When my husband and I agreed to become foster parents there was several things we had to do in order to prepare our home and ourselves for the children to come. One of the things we had to do was complete a six week training class. The class met two times each week and consisted of discipline strategies, departmental policies and expectations, and many other things. The class itself was fun to attend but in looking back on it tonite there are many things I would have done differently. Let me explain....
They take you into this class and your so full of excitement and your heart feels good because you feel like your doing a good thing and they do their best to scare you to death. You hear a lot of horror stories about how someones best friends neighbor took in foster children and they made terrorists threats on her telephone, and someone elses cousins boyfriends mother took in foster children and they tried to make use the cat as a sacrifice. Granted the kids in the system all come with their own bag of troubles and heartaches but I have also discovered something else...kids are universally the same in that they just want to know that you love them. No matter what my foster children have done for the day I have always made it a personal goal to let them hear me say I love you. Those 3 little words make all the difference in the world to them. And children are smart...they know if you mean it or not....and if you dont then foster parenting is not the job for you.
Another thing they should tell all new foster parents......Some people will admire what you are doing....others will think you are demented. The ones who admire what you are doing are happy to tell you they think it is great that you have such a big heart but they wont be the ones who offer to invite ALL of your children to a birthday party or your entire family for dinner. Foster families tend to be a little larger than the norm so if being a social butterfly is important to you then fostering is not the job for you. The ones who think you are demented will just stop calling all together.
And then there is another thing they dont prepare you for.....the thoughtless questions people will ask. One day we were eating out and someone happened to notice the that we didnt all exactly resemble each other and came over to our table and asked me "so whats the deal here with all these kids".....I responded by telling him the truth...we are a family...and thats all he needed to know. Another thoughtless woman approached me one day after hearing our little girl proudly proclaiming that she is "getting dopted" and asked me if I was worried there could be a history of mental illness in the childs family....I responded by asking her if she had any mental illness in HER family. So if thoughtless questions hurt your feelings, or make you angry in any way then foster parenting is not the job for you. You have to have a very thick skin.
And the last thing....all new foster parents should know that when its all said and done someday a child will grow up and know how to balance his check book because you taught him to be thrifty, he will graduate from school because you ensured his homework was done, he will give his heart to Jesus because you mirrored Christ in front of him. They may not stay with you forever (some might) but if they leave your home they will leave with the knowlege of knowing what a real home is supposed to be like because of the time they spent with you. The seeds you plant with these children will reap a bountiful harvest. Its an investment worth making!


I knew I was officially a Foster Parent when......
The cashier at Wal Mart asked me what school we were from as my family came through the line.
I took my neighbor in my garage to locate a shovel she asked to borrow and seeing all the extra clothes, bikes, strollers and toys she said "oh your preparing to have a yard sale."
My 6 month temporary placement went from Elementary school to Junior High
Someone walked up to me at a local Hardees and asked if we were like those Duggar people on TV.
All the local cashiers at the grocery stores know us by first name.
The relatives stop inviting you over as your family has become larger than they are comfortable with.
The dentist closes his office 2 hours early just to accomodate the appointments of your family.
The little boy who was once afraid to be touched hugs you before bedtime and said I love you.

Interesting Stuff About ME

Things Most People Do Not Know About Me
1. People who talk in their sleep scare me....literally. If you talk in your sleep and I hear it I will wake you up really fast.
2. I was a bed wetter. I wet my bed until I was a grown adult. Doctors came up with all sorts of medicines but nothing worked. I wet my bed the night before I got married....after I got married it never happened again. Strange but true.
3. I hate the color green. I am not sure why but I think it has something to do with some green cabinets we had when I was growing up. They were a hideous dark green and I remember thinking they were ugly when I was maybe 10.
4. I procrastinate. I put things off for later. Its a nasty habit that can cause a lot of trouble if you dont watch it carefully.
5. I like anything vintage or old fashioned. I like old music (40's, 50's), old styles, I especially love vintage jewlery like cameos and pearls. Old car shows are always fun. Nothing like a blast from the past...it represents simpler times. I think it would be fun to live like the Waltons.
6. I am not easily persuaded. I dont see a grey area in anything. Everything is either black or white...right or wrong. I think people over analyze everything. I dont believe in anything super natural...I think there is a reason for EVERYTHING.
7. I am not an animal lover. I dont want anything to hurt an animal I just simply dont want one.
8. I think all these children who are medicated and diagnosed with all these mental health disorders such as ADD, ADHD, OCD just to name a few are for the most part just a victim of poor parenting. Everyone has a cure for everything a child does these days....in a pill.
9. I am opinionated.
10. I enjoy a challenge, no matter what it is. If you dont think I can do it then you have my attention really quick. I will go a long ways to try and prove you wrong.
So there are a few things a lot of people dont know about me. Perhaps I will share some more another time. Good nite for now.

Church Bus Riders

Several years ago before I became a mother I kept my hours busy by doing things for other peoples children....and I loved it. One area that I particularly enjoyed was taking children to church. My cousin and I used to gather up everyones children throughout the neighborhood and haul them all to church. I think church is a very important thing in a childs life. I put a huge emphasis on it in my home and I dont let much get in the way of us being in Gods house at the appointed time. It is my hearts desire that each child we bring into our home hear about the love of Jesus from me first. I want to be the first one to tell them they need to accept Christ as their Savior and I would love to be the one to pray with them and see them accept him into their lives. So many children never go to church so therefore my cousin and I took a lot of little street kids to church over the years. The numbers grew to such an amount I dont think I could remember them all. Every once in a while we run into someone who will say hey Mrs Mary dont you remember me??? You used to take me to church! What a great feeling comes over me when I hear those words. Today one of the little girls who used to ride that famous church bus with my cousin and I as we hauled them off to church week after week contacted me and asked if I would consider babysitting her little baby. What an honor! She came over and spent some time with us tonite and I looked into the face of that beautiful little angel she was carrying in the tote seat and we had time to talk a little and I made it a point to remind her that the church is still there, I made sure I mentioned Jesus before she walked out the door...just a few suttle mentions that will hopefully plant a seed. I saw the look of interest on her face when I reminded her how much we would love for her to come back to church and bring her little one. She will be back next week to drop the baby off to me while she goes to work.....who knows maybe we will start a second generation church bus?

Football is Over....Finally!

As of today football is officially over in my house. I am so happy about that. I am always proud when my children want to participate in a team sport or activity and I heartily encourage them to do so but football is just UGH. To begin with I know nothing about it. It looks like nothing more than a mass of young men attacking each other and slamming their bodies into one another. Its aggressive.....its loud....its messy....and its time consuming. Football practice was everyday after school monday through friday all the way until 6:30 in the evening. Then we had to make the ride over to pick him up, which throws dinner time off, homework time off, and showering and preparing to do it all again tomorrow. Then of course you have to make the game every wednesday. And I wouldnt miss it for the world. My baby was on the team and I wanted him to know how proud I am of his efforts. He stuck to it....win or lose he didnt quit and for that I am so proud of him. But I am glad its over.
There are times when we are all running on a low tank and just need some time to refuel and relax......to do our stress breathing as my kids call it. But life stays busy.....football is over but Christmas is around the corner. Christmas is my favorite time of the year around here. There was a time when I thought we wouldnt ever be able to share our Christmas holiday with a child of our own and I can recall times I got up on Christmas morning and pretended to be happy for the sake of those around me but all the while I was muttering to myself how I felt God had let me down by not blessing me with children. I can somehow picture God sitting up there on his throne laughing at me now while I had a spiritual tantrum of sorts. He saw down the scheme of time and knew that a house full of children was heading my way....he just allowed me those few years of childlessness to "refuel"....to get ready for the many children I would soon to be blessed with....he knew I would need the energy.

Galatians 6:9...."Be not weary in well doing...for in due season you will reap if you faint not."