Rambling

When your in the process of completing an adoption it is almost like a birth without the physical pain. You become an emotional rollercoaster. When your pregnant and give birth you know from the very beginning that its going to be over in 9 months and you can begin the process of raising your child. But when you adopt its not like that. There is no time scale of completion. It can go on and on sometimes. And when you do get a call saying they need just that one more bit of documentation or something you being to imagine all sorts of horrible things. But eventually it is all said and done and you have a beautiful child to raise to love and serve the Lord. What an awesome responsibility.
Today was a grey day for me. You know how sometimes you just get yourself in a funk and dont know how to get out of it. And on top of it all it rained....just a misty rain...enough to make the day very dull. I had something on my mind today and it was bothering me a lot. And to be honest I wasnt sure how I would work it out. At one point this afternoon I almost reduced myself to tears. You know how sometimes people will say God just spoke to them? I have always been of the idea that when people say God is talking then we need to watch out because I just dont think he speaks right out loud to us like that but anyway....at the lowest point of my day today I was sitting in the kitchen and all of a sudden a verse from the bible just popped into my head.....the one where its says how God would never see the righteous forsaken or his seed begging bread.....and when I thought of that verse something very calming came over my day. And for some reason I didnt give my problem another thought for the day. Two hours later I was sitting in the kitchen and the phone rang and it was someone who owed me money. They owed me that money from so long ago I just assumed I would never see it again. Imagine the surprise on my face when I got paid today.....and it was just enough...with some left over. Coincidence? Some people might think so. I dont believe there is any coincidences in our lives. God already knows the patterns of our days and today when he saw I was a little down he took a few minutes to pick me back up and dust me off and remind me that he is our father and fathers always take care of their own. I dont feel grey anymore today.

I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.
He is ever merciful, and lendeth; and his seed is blessed. Psalm 37:25, 26

Sunday Special

Things have been busy around here lately. Blogging was not on my top ten list of things to complete each day and as far as that list goes most days I barely made it to number 5. The kids have all been in school for over a month now and the first progress report came home and all I can say is my kids rock. The grades were superb. M is adjusting to kindergarten and I can see her improving emotionally each week. My middle school child has had some growing pains but we are working through it but there again in spite of his need to be "one of the boys" his grades are still outstanding. I felt really good the other day when he came home and told me that he had some issues with his behavior at school before the school had the chance to tell me about it....I have tried to instill in him that the power of sin is in secrecy. All things eventually come to light. When our sins are not hidden then they dont take root in our heart and control our lives and future actions. He came home and told me what happened. Nothing major really and we worked it out. I am proud of him.
This coming week is a huge court week for us. I would rather endure hemmoroid surgery without the benfit of an anesthetic than to go to court but these 3 hearings are very important. One is to determine the amount of time someone will spend in jail for the crime he committed against his child. In my mind I cant think of any amount of time he might sit in jail that would make up for the things he did to his child but I am not the judge. It will be handled by a judge in a court room for the next 2 days and then his fate will be decided. I thought about him tonite and wondered what he was feeling tonite. I am sure he is scared....but there is a judge that will meet him one day that he needs to be far more concerned about than the one who decide his fate tomorrow. I dont hate him...I hate what he did to his child....may God have mercy on his soul. I pray he finds Salvation in the more true form.
The second trial is to decide the fate of 2 of my other children. I am pretty confident that I already know whats going to take place. The boys have been with me almost 4 years. I feel a sense of sadness for the parents of these children but there again she failed to follow through with what she needed to do to make a safe home for the boys. These boys are older. They remember a lot of things that happened in their early life. They know the kind of life they have now and they dont want to leave. I cant say that I blame them.
As far as both court hearings go I can just say this....a decision has already been made I am sure. God knows what that decision is. He will show us what it is very soon. The boys are worried and I have told them not to be. We will just put it in Gods hands and everything will be ok.
R is the newest member of our house. He came to us back in the summer and I was told to expect a storm from him. I can say he has been a wonderful addition to our home. He came to us from an abusive foster home and had some trouble learning to trust us but now he acts like someone who has been here forever. I am proud that he is here.
The kids all went to church this morning and I so seldom ever miss church but this morning I let my husband ecort the entire little brood to sunday school and I decided to stay home and cook a huge country dinner for the family. It was a lot of fun. The house was deadly quiet and I started cook at 9am and didnt stop until the kids walked back in the door at 1pm. The look on their faces made it all worth while. We all sat around the table and ate and laughed and talked and ate some more. When all was said and done and we could barely move I noticed something....the older children got up from the table and began cleaning up the dishes and kitchen. I leaned over to my husband and asked him if he told them to do that...he said no. I asked them why they were doing that...and the oldest of our family looked at me and said "just sit back and relax mom we got this." And thats exactly what I did.
I hope we can always have special sunday memories like we made today.

Middle School is not my Favorite

Oh the tween years!!!!! They really stink if you think about it. You want more than anything to be one of the big guys but your just not ready to put away your cars and action figures. My son started Middle School this year and its not even been 2 months and hes already got his eye on a little shapely cheerleader. And to make matters worse hes a football player so naturally this little cheerleader will have every chance to see my son. So tonite he asked me if he made straight A's would I allow him to have a girlfriend. I avoided answering that question by firing back a few questions of my own and found out where we were going with this whole conversation. I dont believe in dating...especially when your just a little kid yourself. But the whole concept of dating I dont believe in either. When they get older and want to socialize with a member of the opposite sex then I think there should be a chaperone. I know you all are thinking I am joking but truely I think thats the way is should be done. I believe that a lot of children get in trouble too early when their parents dont take the time to guard their childrens hearts. So N has his eye on this little girl and I am already in protective mode wondering WHY HER....I notice when I drop him off for school there always seems to be a little flock of giggling girls waiting at the door. I wouldnt go back to the tween years for nothing. I have always tried to be open and honest with my kids about anything they wanted to talk to me about...including sex, dating, and girls. I hope and pray they make good Godly choices...and I pray that Middle School zips by quickly.

Life Keeps On Going and Going and Going

Its been a while since I had the time to sit down and blog about anything that is happening around here. The kids are well on their way to a successful school year and the after school activities are keeping us on the road. J and R are doing boyscouts and N is playing football. Those activites along with staying involved with church has kept us on the road. Friday will be a special day around here and everyone knows its moms favorite day.....Progress reports come home. The children are doing well but for some reason it seems like a dreaded day for children the world over. And I like the ritual of making a huge production out of it. Of course I always reward their efforts but its a fun day around here.

M has been in kindergarten for a whole month now and so far so good. It seems like the anger she had in her last year has subsided and she is excited about learning new things. The first set of papers she brought home included a lesson about the 5 senses and had pictures of several children on the front of it which the teacher instructed her to color them. The teacher told me that she told the children to color all the people on her page a color that make sense...not purple or green. M colored all her faces brown with the exception of one. You have to know the dynamics of this family to appreciate how sweet that was of her to do. M has grown up not caring about the color of a person because she has always had foster brothers and sisters of every race and she loves them and embraces them like a sibling...each and every one. The next big event in our house will be the adoption decree to arrive....then we will have a huge reason to celebrate!

The next exciting event that took place around here involved our boys. N and J received a new social worker which made us all very happy. The boys have been with us a long time. I dont know what the future hold for them....their case has been so difficult that we have just resolved to leave it in God's hands to make sure the boys are where HE wants them to be. And ultimately when we leave it in his hands everything will work out just like its supposed to.