Racism

Because I am not African American I have always assumed that racism would be something that would never touch any aspect of my life. I was very wrong. I do not consider myself a racist person by any means of the word, nor can I say I have been denied goods or services due to the color of my skin. Anyone who knows me on a personal level would say that I am by no means a racist person. I honestly believe that I judge each person based on their own merit. I have welcomed foster children of all races into my home, as well as my husband and I have fellowshipped across racial lines forever. I have worked diligently to teach the children that come into my home that we are all God's children and we all bleed the same color. Now here is where I plan to drop the bomb shell. Why is it that the majority of African Americans I have been in contact with automatically assume that because my skin is white that I am going to be a bigot? Isnt that a form of discrimination in itself? I have recently had the pleasure of fostering 2 young boys in my home that have been with me for 3 years. We love them dearly. I dont believe I could love those children anymore had I given birth to them. When these boys first arrived in my home I will never forget that night. They both had on the poorest looking clothes I have ever seen on a child, and an insanely expensive pair of shoes on their feet. Mind you understand these shoes appeared to be brand new. The first words the older child uttered to me was "white people kill black people". I made sure he quickly understood that I had no plans to murder anyone that night and set about making him feel as comfortable as possible in my home. Over the last 3 years these boys and I have formed a bond. I worked very hard to teach them that we do not judge people by the color of their skin, or the type of shoe on their foot. That is where my next problem comes in. Fast forward to today. We now have a new social worker on the boys case. My husband and I had hoped to be able to adopt the boys. From the very beginning when this social worker started visiting my home I immediately picked up on the fact that she did not care for the idea of these boys being in our home. Now dont get me wrong again, my boys have nice shoes for school and church but just for walking around they get a pair of cheap play shoes. This young African American social worker immediately came into contact with the boys asking about their shoes. And it wasnt that she was unkind about it...it was more that you could tell from her tone....it was like "ugh where did you get those horrible shoes". She always made them feel different. Besides shoes...this social worker informed me that the boys needed to visit the barber shop once a week. I thought that sounded a bit ridiculous however I was willing to go along with it. I mentioned it to the barber and he (african American) said she didnt know what she was talking about. It began to become a series of events with this one social worker. If I put Vicks Vaporrub on a child...she said they had a bad odor. I knew what she had in store for these boys and I began to silently prepare myself for it. We actually had a visit with a supervisor and she lied during the meeting. Finally I got the call I had been expecting all along. She was moving the boys to a black foster home. The older boy said when they took him off to tell him about it he was told he needed to develop "black pride". I have to be honest in saying I never tried to teach him black pride...I tried to teach him self pride. I wanted him to be proud of his good grades in school, his athletic achievements, his musical accomplishments, I wanted him to be proud of himself for his own merit. I believe with all that is in me that this "social worker" had issues with the fact that these boys love me and they call me mom. I believe that is why she looked for imaginary issues. I believe she doesnt feel that a white woman should be raising black children. I never made them feel different in my home....but she did. Now I have two very sad boys who have lost their family due to the tragedy that has landed them in foster care and now they are going to lose another family because of racism. Is this reverse discrimination? I think this poor excuse for a social worker is simply drawing a paycheck and could care less about the best interest of these children. But I would feel that way because I am angry. I am angry that I have been judged and found to be less than because of the color of my skin. What I have worked three years to teach in my home was torn down by one social worker who has issues with ethnic differences. Yes, racism has touched my life. It has touched my life in a way I will never forget. What concerns me is how it will make me feel 10 years from now. In the mean time I have two very distressed boys that are sitting here waiting for the next black foster home to become available so they can move again. Yet the so call authorities who claim to know whats best for the children sit and wonder why all the children in the system have trouble developing relationships and forming healthy attachments. I bet I can guess why.