Stress Breathing

I have a little girl who is what I sometimes refer to as an emotional rollercoaster. This poor little baby has seen more tragedy in her 4 short years on this earth than most grown folks have seen in their entire lives. It shouldnt have been that way. When this little angel first came to live with me she spent the majority of her days in tears. She had just turned 3 when she came to my house. She cried so much the first week that my husband and I were at our wits end for a little while. It wasnt until we were made aware of some of the circumstances surrounding why she came to live with us that we began to understand. She had a good reason to cry. I cried with her a few times as the story of this little girl unfolded around me. You dont generally know everything about a child when they arrive at your door....they just give you what information is necessary to take care of the child. The total picture of the childs problems develop after the honeymoon period is over. The honeymoon period is that few days after they first move in. Many times they are happy to be free from the stress of their own homes so the first few days are really great. They are happy, content, and well behaved. Then they get comfortable. You meet the real child. And you begin to get the total picture of the child as you engage in countless hours of therapy visits and doctors visits. Sometimes it can seem overwhelming. Sometimes you can feel anger....when you see the sadness that these innocent little children have to endure a whole flood of emotions can wash over you. I have never been a huge fan of therapy. Most people who know me would describe me as coldly logical. I dont see a middle ground to anything with a lot of ease....many times it has to be pointed out for me. To me...its either right...or wrong.....no ifs ands or buts. I inherited that from my father. I do however support all my children in their therapy efforts so I have spent the last year and a half visiting a therapist once a week with this beautiful little girl. Mostly the therapy sessions always consist of how to help this little girl identify her emotions and develop good responses to the feelings she has. The first time we walked into therapy and I saw the therapist that would be guiding us through this process, the first thing that popped into my mind was that she was just a little girl herself....how in the world could she help this child. I dont know how old our therapist is but I can say this about her. She has changed my whole outlook about therapy. She has proven beyond a shadow of doubt that it does in fact help. She has been a wonderful resource for our family. One of the coping methods our little girl learns from therapy is how to do stress breathing. I realize it seems like a simple concept but think about it for a minute. If your in a stress related situation how many people would think to "do their breathing" in order to get control of the situation. So I spent a lot of the last year reminding this little girl to do her breathing....and it works. This therapist has made huge strides in helping this beautiful little girl develop various ways to control her emotions. Recently I was stopped for a traffic infraction in the city of Norfolk. For some reason the sight of those flashing lights in my rearview mirror struck a fear in my heart that sucked the breath right out of me. I dont know why it frightened me...its not like I have a criminal record or anything. It was embarassing for one thing. I felt like everyone was looking at me. I felt like I was about to be publicly executed. My little girl was sitting in her car seat as I pulled over and handed the officer my drivers license. The officer walked back to her car. My little girl was sitting there taking all this in and I was sitting there trying not to let her see my cry....she never said anything while the officer was at the window but as soon as she walked aways ...she looked over at me and said you know mommy if your scared just do your breathing! I couldnt help but smile when she said that. She placed her little hand on her chest and I did the same on my mine and she and I sat there and did our stress breathing. In a few moments I did feel better. I felt better because I blew out some of my stress......and I felt better because the little girl sitting in my car seat was getting better. She was learning to control her emotions and for that moment she was helping me control mine! When the officer came back to the window I was back in control of myself. So from now on when your facing a stressful situation do the same thing we do......take a few moments and DO YOUR BREATHING!