Prayer Changes Things

There was a time in my life when I was very sick. I had a lot of medical problems and I was just completely and totally miserable. These medical problems are part of what caused me to be unable to have a child of my own. When I first realized just how sick I was I wasnt overly concerned because I already knew I was going to be ok. I had been told all my life...if I am sick I simply bring it to God and he will make me well again. I have taught that same message to others...I depended on it for myself. I have always enjoyed good health most of my life so therefore I never was in the position to have to put that scripture to the test...until my fertility problems surfaced. I have always wanted many children. From as early as I could remember I wanted more than anything to have a huge family. I love children. The thought of not being able to have one was a horrible thing to me. So I did what all good Church of God Cleveland Tennessee women do....I had the elders of the church annoint me with oil and pray for the healing of my body. It didnt happen. At least not the way I wanted to. I wanted God to make everything ok with me so I could have lots of babies and live happily ever after. When it didnt happen the way I thought it should I became bitter and angry with God. I eventually talked myself into believing that God does not perform miracles anymore. I shutter now to think those words even came out of my mouth but they did. I was having a spiritual temper tantrum I guess. When the doctor said the H word to me (hysterectomy) I felt my heart break in two. As long as I had my uterus I always had a hope that one month would come that God would get back to the business of healing folks and it would be my turn. It still didnt happen and I had the surgery ....and became even more bitter. I didnt attend church at all for about 6 months. The weeks and months following the hysterectomy were hard for me but I mended quickly and went back to work just deciding that God didnt care about me anymore. I soon realized that hysterectomy was not such a bad thing in some ways.....I no longer gained 40 pounds of fluid each week....I no longer cried uncontrollably from the hormone pills....the severe bleeding which left me listless and tired was gone too. In fact I felt better than I felt in a long long time. So ok I felt better ...God gives Doctors the knowlege to do what they do....Maybe God did send my healing? Sure he did. It wasnt the way I wanted but his way is better than my way. But what about my kids? God knew how important that was to me. I thought he cared about everything that touches my life? He does. Then the foster children started coming, one by one they came through the door. God healed my body by way of a surgery and he made me a mother too. I have never felt less of a mother because I didnt give birth to the children in my home. And if they are only with me for a season...thats ok too because there are more to come. I believe God didnt give me children of my own for a reason. That reason is laying in the crib across the room right now....there are a few more reasons laying upstairs in their beds sleeping soundly. If I had children of my own I dont know that I would feel the way I do about the children in my home. They come to my door with problems ....some of them have been hurt. I am honored to be allowed to share the journey of their recovery with them. Like an injured bird some of them heal and fly on....it leaves a hole in your heart when that happens but its such a good feeling to see them healthy and whole. I dont want to just settle with children who fly....I want them to soar. I believe they are capable of that. God put them here in my care because he promised to make me a mom...he said he cares about everything that touches our lives....and he really does answer prayer. Its just amazing how he does it just the right way and right time.