Protective Mode

Every child that enters my home even if for a short period of time leaves a foot print on my heart. I have a little boy who came to me on July 4 of this past year. Of all the kids I have had he was a little bit of a challenge in that he didnt trust anyone right off. That was because of the things that had happened to him already prior to coming to my door. I had to work at it with R. I was determined to win this childs love. I would try to hug him and he would become stiff like and pull away. I would make sure he heard me say I love you to him at least one time every day. He never would respond back. Time passed and he began to share some experiences with me. He learned I was not going to hit him, scream at him, or lock him in a room for punishment. Now enough time has passed that when I say I love you to him...he says I love you too. When I hug him...he hugs me back. I felt like I won the lottery. I knew when he came to my home he was there as a temporary placement....he needed an adoptive home, along with his two sisters. Now all this time has passed and I have seen this little boy grow by leaps and bounds. I dont take credit for any of that ....God worked in this childs life, not me. Now I realize I was told from the very beginning that he was a temporary placement but it just seemed like time kept marching on and we got complacent. I did mention to this social worker that we would be willing to make a home for him if he needed one but I found out they already had one in the making for him. So I got the call....he would be going to spend the night with a family that was interested in adopting him. It is funny how that made me feel. I went right into protective mode. I silently wondered what kind of woman she would be. I prayed that she would be good to him and silently thought of all the bad things I would wish on her if she wasnt. So today I dropped him off to her. He was really sad on the way and that didnt make me feel any better but I do hope and pray that everything will work out for him...hes been in the system way too long. Children should never be raised in foster care. I cant imagine having to live everyday wondering if this would be the day they would take me some place else. I reminded him that when the day comes and he has to leave our house that we would always be family with him...he would always be a part of us. R is a tough little kid and he makes sure he keeps a little shield around himself at all times. I saw a tear run down his cheek when I started to leave. I couldnt look back because I wanted to only encourage him. He is a precious gift from God.....I hope they find that out while visiting with him tonite.