The Children are Nestled All Snug in the Bed

Every year I tell myself the same lie...Im not going to be wrapping gifts on Christmas eve...and here I am again wrapping away. I stress myself every year that I dont have enough things for each child, or one might have a little more. I try to be fair across the board. But the wrapping thing...just wait til next year, I am going to do better!
R came home from his overnight visit and he seemed like he had a good time. I didnt ask him a lot about it because I didnt want him to feel uncomfortable sharing it with me. He did seem like he had a good time and I hope that he did. I still pray that somehow...someway...he can be adopted with his siblings. I believe siblings should be together. I dont think they are exhausting every opportunity to adopt them as a group. When kids get seperated in the system they lose out on so much.
So Christmas is here once again and after a few short hours it will be over again. I reminded my kids again tonite that its all about a birthday. This is a night of excitement and enthusiasm for children and mine are no exception to the rule. We do that Santa bit but I also tell my kids that every good and perfect gift comes from God. I want them to always remember that.
I thought a little bit tonite about the kids that are not with me this year that spent Christmas past with us...I wondered how they were doing. I missed them all very much tonite. I pray they are all safe and happy and have a tree with lots of presents and love to share in the morning. No matter if they stay in my home for years or days...I pray for them all tonite....
And to Nicolas...circumstances didnt allow us to be together this year but God knows our hearts...You will always be my son. When you looked at me you didnt see a skin color you saw your mom...when I looked at you I saw a piece of heaven. Every night before I tucked you into your bed we would always say.....I love you forever, I like you for always...always forever my baby youll be. Sometimes I would pretend to forget to say it and you would remind me. Thank you Nicolas...for making me a mom. I know I will hold you again someday.

Merry Christmas