traditions minus the extended family

Today I was thinking about family. I have so many fond memories of my holiday celebrations with family and friends when my dad was living. My dad felt family togetherness was very important. He expected that no matter what had been said or done throughout the year you were expected to be together for the holidays whether you liked it or not. I can remember as a child the many Easter Celebrations in my grandmothers yard hiding easter eggs, the Christmas breakfasts at my aunts house, not to mention all the birthdays and anniversary celebrations thrown in between it all. My dad died several years ago and it seemed like once that happened that holiday celebrations didnt seem as important to a lot of people. I think my dad was the cement that held us all together. I would still get an occassional invitation to spend a holiday or two for a while but it was never quite the same. As the years have pressed on I am now invited to basically nothing. They have their celebrations and I have my own here at my house. I believe a lot of it has to do with the fact that my family has basically gotten too large and too colorful to make a lot of my family comfortable....which is fine. If they didnt feel comfortable being around us its better they werent because in spite of the fact that some of my children are a different race than I am I would immediately take offense if someone said something to hurt them....lets be honest I would get flat angry. But in looking back I have to say.....my family may omit me and my children from most things these days but I am glad they did. I have new holiday memories they will never have....they havent seen my children get excited over finding the gifts under the tree on Christmas morning....they havent seen the excitement in their eyes when looking for the last Easter egg....they havent seen them open birthday gifts when many birthdays before coming to us they didnt have anything. Every little event excites my children and they are so thankful for it all. They talk about it all year long. Its a good feeling. I am making my own holiday memories. I am making my traditions......and the only thing I have missed out on is spending my holiday with people who whisper behind my back when I am out of the room or people who are only spending time with me because they feel like they had to. My children havent missed out on a thing. In the place of the disregard of some of my family God has sent other people into our lives to replace the ones that left.....Melissa, John, Teresa and many others make up for all the extended family my children dont get. They havent missed out on a thing. Just tonite the kids were sitting around the table talking about ...Christmas is over now its time for Valentines....N leaned over and told R that when its valentines day mom will always show up at your school with food.....its tradition he said. I like that word...tradition.